I took a huge risk and canceled my cable TV service. My so-called “lifeline” to the outside world was being cut not to mention the fact that most likely there would be a WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE poster with my picture on it printed by the kids. Life as we know it is over.
The television picks up one (1) channel just fine-CBS.
Now before you think I have gone off the deep end, think of the benefits here. My right thumb will recover in time from “clicker-itits” No more worrying about what programs the kids are watching (The CBS lineup is oatmeal compared to FOX) and while I will miss shows like “The Osbournes” and “Emeril Live!” I think the good outweighs the bad.
At least that is what I am telling the kids.
When I was a kid we had four channels 2-5-7-9 and on Friday nights if we got the rabbit ears just right WFLD 32 came in with Screaming Yellow Theater hosted by a creep named Svengoolie. So when I pondered pulling the plug-it did not take long. The conversation went something like this.
“Ok guys, just letting you know starting tomorrow there will be no more cable TV.”
“Cool, you bought a dish dad, awesome, you can get like four thousand channels with that thing!”
“Well, I did not get a dish.”
“Direct TV! Even better!”
“Nope.”
“So what are we going to watch?” They asked incredulously.
“When I was a kid…”
“Here it comes, the back in the day speech.”
“When I was a kid, we had four or five channels. We spent summers outside in nature.”
“Dad, you lived on a corner lot next to an alley in Chicago- there was no nature.”
“Nature is where you find it. So I decided since you two live where most people go on vacation, TV is reduced to one channel until further notice.”
“You’re not kidding are you?”
“Nope.”
“What am I going to do” my daughter yelled “ No American Idol reruns or MTV?”
“You got it.’
The boy said “What about cartoons on Saturday mornings?”
“Ya still have one channel- the entire world fits through one channel.”
Before you pick up the horn and report me for physiological abuse, I need to remind you that they both have televisions in their room (I never did) and both have DVD players hooked up for games and movies. I did not remove those devices. (Yet!)
The entire world can be seen through one channel.
If the world is ending (and according to the news it is every five or six minutes) I will find out or maybe I am better off if I don’t know- less pain that way. I don’t need to fill my life with offers for super knives, hair growth treatments, and stomach machines and diet pills.
Right up the road is the most beautiful river around. Walk over the hill and there are thousands of acres of forest complete with Bald Eagles, hawks and other critters and creatures.
After the initial withdrawal (picking up the clicker with no response) we have adjusted nicely. We are not bombarded with messages of tragedy on a moment by moment basis. We are not told over and over that the only way to be someone is to have more or less hair, a better mortgage, more or less credit cards, a thinner waist and bigger bank account.
The kids have spent more time with their friends; we have spent more time playing catch, going fishing and just plain talking. What a concept.
So I double-dog-dare you to give it a shot- at least for one day and see how it feels to pay attention to things that really matter. You might be surprised at what you have been missing.
Its not clear to me if our reptilian brain stems are hard wired to take in the amount of information that comes at us at such a dizzying speed. I imagine little explosions in my gray matter as I am asked if I smell good enough, thought about pre-planning my death and if I am worried about a study that shows kids are more obese than ever before. All in the space of 60 seconds.
We plan on hooking up again when school starts and through the winter months but for now I can see the world just fine from here.